Unfortunately, not all marriages are destined to last. In the beginning, no one imagines themselves getting a divorce, or having a short marriage; they think they will beat all the odds. But sadly, some of the marriages come to an end for different reasons. Issues and disagreements are normal in any relationship, but there are several warning signs (or red flags) that can show a marriage won’t last, is headed toward divorce, or was doomed from the start.
At Sustainable Family Solutions, we work closely with our divorce clients and gain insight into the emotional, stressful, often overwhelming and difficult process. Based on our years of experience, combined with tips from therapists, and other professionals, we’ve compiled a list of some major signs that show a marriage won’t last.
- People who are polar opposites – It’s a well-known saying that “opposites attract,” but it can also be a bad thing. If two people have very different lifestyles, thought processes and beliefs, this can cause major conflict and problems.
- People who aren’t honest about their finances – A couple’s decision on how to handle the finances is up to them, whether it’s joint accounts, separate accounts, or a combination of both. However, if couples aren’t upfront about their spending habits, conflicts can arise when the couple is short on funds or unable to reach certain goals like buying a house.
- People who don’t fight – This may sound odd to say, but avoiding problems instead of confronting them and working them out in a healthy way is a troubling sign. As a couple, you’re a team, you love each other and should be able to talk and argue without destroying the marriage.
- There is a lack of trust – If there is no trust, it’s hard to keep the relationship going. If the trust was broken (infidelity is a big reason), the person who broke the trust needs to find a way to repair it, and the other party needs to find a way to move forward, if that’s what both parties want.
- Criticism and contempt – Attacking your partner’s character instead of voicing a complaint or expressing a critique can create a lot of negative tension and conflicts. Eye-rolling, mockery, sneering, hostile humor and imitating a person’s mannerisms is also a form of expressing contempt that will cause more conflict. Unless the couple corrects this behavior with positive comments and actions, they will start to resent each other and a rift will begin to form.
- Lack of sex, intimacy and touch – Sex is a natural desire for most people and it’s something they want to experience with their partner. If there is a lack of intimacy (in and out of the bedroom) or wanting to be near each other physically, this can strain a marriage. Reciprocity, when it comes to physical touch, is so important for the emotional strength of a marriage.
If there are problems in the marriage, and you want to fix them, it is important to accept your partner for who they are (faults and all). By working on the above points, you can repair the marriage, if both parties want to. If not, there may be irreconcilable differences and it may be time to stop harming each other. Here at Sustainable Family Solutions, we are a highly-experienced family law and divorce law firm in Florida. We serve Broward County and other South Florida counties. To learn more about our practice, click here.