Lori Barkus Youtube Thumbnail (2)

Navigating Divorce: Empowerment, Fairness, and Wisdom

Experiencing a divorce can be an overwhelming and lonely journey, but it doesn’t have to be. The following blog post sheds light on some key strategies and insights that could be beneficial for women going through a divorce. 

By understanding your options and equipping yourself with the necessary knowledge, you can navigate this challenging time with a little more ease and assurance. 

This guide aims to act as an introduction to some of the concepts you need to know, acting as a gateway to full understanding.

Let’s get into it.

The Importance of Legal and Financial Advice in Divorce

Undergoing a divorce is not just an emotional process; it’s a legal and financial one too. 

Getting the right advice is critical to avoid any potential pitfalls or regrets later down the line. It’s normal to feel rushed or pressured to settle things quickly, but it’s vital to remember that haste can lead to oversight.

Legal professionals can help you understand your rights and the implications of your decisions. 

A financial advisor, on the other hand, can assist you in navigating the complex financial aspects of divorce, ensuring that you don’t overlook any critical aspects.

One highly recommended approach is to consult an attorney before you step into mediation. It’s important to review any agreement before you sign them, fully understanding the commitments you’re agreeing to. 

Legal and financial professionals can also offer ongoing support throughout the process, ensuring you’re never left feeling overwhelmed or underprepared.

The Role of Mediation in Divorce

Mediation can be a beneficial tool during divorce proceedings. 

It provides a platform for open communication, helping both parties to work through their differences and reach an amicable solution. However, for mediation to be truly effective, you need to be well-prepared and have a clear understanding of what to expect.

A mediation support package can provide valuable assistance in this regard. Such a package can include a comprehensive intake process, helping prepare you for mediation. 

This preparation helps you understand how to advocate for yourself, what topics to focus on, and what outcomes you aim for.

Understanding Financial Aspects

During a divorce, it’s essential to avoid guessing at assets or income. Misunderstanding or overlooking aspects such as business valuations or pensions can lead to unfair settlements. 

Getting professional support can help answer these questions and ensure that you have a full understanding of the financial landscape before making any decisions.

The Silent Partner Strategy

It’s essential to understand that you don’t have to face the challenges of divorce alone. Behind-the-scenes support can be extremely beneficial, allowing you to confidently present your case during mediation. 

This kind of support is often invisible to the other party, acting as a “silent partner” that helps you navigate the complexities of the process.

Balancing Transparency with Strategy

Strategizing during a divorce is not about hiding assets or being underhanded. It’s about ensuring you’re adequately equipped to make the best decisions for your future. Some things might need to be kept private, not for the sake of deceit, but to ensure that your overall strategy remains robust.

There’s a need to tread carefully around promises made out of fear or pressure. If your spouse insists you’re not allowed to consult with an attorney, it’s important to recognize this as a red flag. It’s not about making the process contentious but about ensuring you’re informed enough to reach a fair and comprehensive agreement.

Ensuring Fairness in Divorce Proceedings

Fairness should always be the goal in divorce proceedings. The idea is not to “win” everything but to arrive at a fair settlement that respects the rights and needs of both parties. A fair agreement is comprehensive and considers all aspects of the situation, from financial to emotional factors.

An approach that prioritizes fairness and mutual respect can help reduce the strain of the process, promoting more amicable relations in the long term.

Leveling the Playing Field

Empowering yourself with knowledge, wisdom, and professional advice can help level the playing field in divorce. This empowerment ensures that no party is disadvantaged and that the outcome of the process is equitable.

Understanding the system, knowing your rights, and having a strong support team can greatly contribute to your confidence and capacity to navigate the divorce process. In doing so, you ensure that the outcome is not only fair but also that you have laid a solid foundation for the next chapter of your life.

Life after Divorce

Life after divorce will bring changes, and managing expectations is important. However, it’s essential to avoid disproportionate decreases in lifestyle. While some adjustments may be necessary, they should not overly penalize any one party.

Professional advice can help you manage this transition more smoothly, allowing you to maintain a quality of life that aligns with your needs and aspirations.

Conclusion: Wisdom in Divorce

At the end of the day, wisdom plays a crucial role in navigating divorce. Making decisions based on informed judgment rather than impulse or pressure can substantially affect the outcome. Seeking the right resources, support, and advice can equip you with the knowledge and confidence to traverse this challenging time.

And remember, it’s okay to seek help

Divorce is a complex journey, and it’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed at times. By reaching out to professionals, you’re investing in your future and ensuring you’re well-equipped to navigate the road ahead. 

For additional resources, visit Sustainable Family Solutions, a platform that provides valuable materials to guide you through your divorce journey.


I may need a divorce.
Hi, I’m Lori Barkus, a family law attorney. My Colorado and Florida-based law firm helps women have a successful divorce by achieving the fairest resolution in the most efficient manner possible. And today, I’d like to talk to you about the what-ifs of divorce. Let’s say you’re thinking about divorce, or maybe your spouse has shared some shocking and devastating news about a betrayal or told you that they’re thinking about divorce, and you’re completely caught off guard by this. You’re still determining what you want at this point. You might still be thinking, maybe I can still save my marriage, or it might be unavoidable and the process is moving forward. Your friends and family are telling you that you should go forward. They’re telling you, you should talk to an attorney. You have so much going on. You know you need help but you’re trying to figure out where to go.

We can help with this situation, because it’s something that my firm and I have faced many times over the years. In fact, we’ve seen cases like this so often that we’ve created an offering specifically for you. We do what’s called a strategy session, and the purpose of this session is to answer all of those what-ifs? We’re here to help you, not just tell you that you should go forward with divorce. We want you to understand what would happen if this goes forward. We want you to know what the process looks like. We want to answer your question about mediation. What is it? Is it right for you? What can you expect in terms of custody of your kids? Would you get alimony? Would you pay alimony? How does child support work? What if you want to keep your house? Maybe you’re concerned that your partner is hiding money.

We can answer all of these questions and more. We can also provide resources to help you understand your financial picture and help support you in making the decision. That’s what we’re here to do. We want you to determine if the marriage can be saved and if divorce is the right step for you, and if it is, we want to make your divorce a successful one. If you have any questions, please get in touch.
Divorce FAQs

A divorce mediator is a neutral party who does not represent either person in a divorce. They can help you and your spouse reach an agreement on all divorce-related issues such as child support, parenting plans, dividing property and spousal support. Divorce mediation usually works best when both parties generally agree on how they want to resolve the various issues and are on amicable terms. At Barkus law, we provide a service that includes both mediation time to discuss and work out the details of your divorce as well as the preparation of all divorce-related documents you will need to file with the court. Although she is a family law attorney, in her role as a mediator, Lori Barkus cannot file paperwork on your behalf, nor can she provide you with legal advice. However, she can prepare all of the documents for you and give you detailed step-by-step instructions about how to file your paperwork. Should you have legal questions or require that paperwork filed on your behalf, you should speak with a qualified attorney about your rights and obligations before and even during the mediation process. Mediation is a low-cost and less stressful way to “untie the knot.” Sustainable Family Solutions offers a flat fee for the mediation process and an additional fee for preparing the documents you need to file with the court. Please call us for details.

In a collaborative divorce, both parties are represented by separate attorneys. The parties and their lawyers sign an agreement not to go to court and instead work together to create an agreement that is best for the parties and their children. The parties can end the process if it does not work, but, if they go to court to have a judge decide, they will each need to hire another lawyer. This keeps the lawyers and parties invested in reaching an agreement. Collaborative divorce can cost far less than a traditional or litigated divorce and can help preserve the family and keep children out of the process. If you are interested in a consultation or have questions, do not hesitate to contact Sustainable Family Solutions. Simply click here and send us a message and we’ll get right back to you.

In order to obtain a divorce, one party needs to state that he or she has lived in Florida for six months and that the marriage is irretrievably broken.
A divorce can be granted over one party’s objection. As long as one party meets residency requirements and states that the marriage is irretrievably broken, there is no way to object to or to stop the divorce process from moving forward.

While you are not required to have a lawyer represent you, not having a lawyer can put you at a disadvantage. It is very important that you understand your rights and obligations before you reach any settlement or go to court. You may decide to seek legal advice or representation if you have questions about your rights in the divorce process.

While alimony can be modified, requesting a modification doesn’t mean you’ll get one. It’s not a matter of simply going before a judge and telling them that you no longer can pay what you have been paying your ex-spouse. These cases must be prepared carefully and those seeking a modification must be able to state a legal basis for the change. Under Florida statute 61.13, the trial court judge has the discretion as to whether alimony will be modified. It provides that when “the circumstances or the financial ability of either party changes” either party may apply for an order decreasing or increasing the amount of alimony and the court has jurisdiction to make orders as equity requires, with “due regard to the changed circumstances of the financial ability of the parties.” The party seeking the modification carries the burden to justify the reduction by having to prove a substantial change in circumstances since the original alimony order and that the change in circumstances was not contemplated at the time of the final order of dissolution. The change also has to be “sufficient, material, involuntary and permanent in nature.” In other words, the party seeking a reduction can’t quit a job that paid them $100,000 a year and accept a job that pays significantly less. When it comes to being permanent in nature, this depends on the facts and circumstances of a particular case. Should the spouse paying alimony choose to retire, the court can take that into consideration. However, that doesn’t mean there will be an automatic reduction or termination of alimony. The court has to consider the age of the payor, his or her health, and the reason for their decision to retire as well as the financial circumstances of the recipient. There are many scenarios that can be contemplated when seeking modification of alimony. Modifications require the consultation and assistance of an attorney who understands the process, the risks and the likelihood of success. If you are interested in a consultation or have questions do not hesitate to contact Sustainable Family Solutions. Simply click here and send us a message and we will get right back to you.

The goal of shared parenting is for parents to collaborate and to remain actively involved in their child’s life, not just on weekends or holidays. In most cases, parents share parental responsibility and make decisions together regarding education, health, and other important matters. Timesharing refers to the time each parent is allowed to spend with the child or children. In more and more cases, parents have equal or nearly equal timesharing with the children. Historically, most children whose parents divorce have spent a majority of their time living with one parent — usually the mother — with the other parent getting visitation rights. However, there has been a big push in recent years to balance the amount of time children spend with both parents, giving parents the opportunity to be actively involved in the raising of their children. In most states, including Florida, judges make custody decisions based on a”best interest of the child” standard. However, judges need not explain the reason(s) for their decisions. Several states have gone so far as to pass shared parenting legislation. In 2013, Florida lawmakers approved an alimony reform law that included a provision for shared parenting. However, Gov. Rick Scott vetoed the bill. Equal timesharing isn’t for everyone and works best for those who are ready, willing and able to take on responsibilities for their child. If you are interested in a consultation or have questions do not hesitate to contact Sustainable Family Solutions. Simply click here and send us a message and we will get right back to you.

right arrowReady to learn more? Next Steps.

Related Articles

What is involved in a Divorce Consultation?

https://youtu.be/8VLF9fivEl4 Let’s talk about what a divorce consultation is. It is your chance to understand your rights and responsibilities in...

Read More

Can alimony be modified?

While alimony can be modified, just because you request a modification it doesn’t mean you will get one. It is...

Read More

What is collaborative divorce?

In a collaborative divorce, both parties are represented by separate attorneys. The parties, and their lawyers, sign an agreement not...

Read More